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To the tune of My Bonnie Lies over the ocean..
Our Frodo lives over the ocean
Our Frodo dwells over the sea.
Our
Frodo lives over the ocean
Oh please bring back Poor Frodo to me.
Bring back, oh bring back
Bring back poor Frodo to me, to me
Bring back, oh bring back
Bring back poor Frodo
to me, to me
Pretty Sly (for a Shire Guy)
A parody.
Gollum :Give it to us Frodo
Frodo : Uh-uh, Uh-uh
Gollum :Give it to us Frodo
Frodo : Uh-uh, Uh-uh
Gollum :Give it to us Frodo
Frodo : Uh-uh, Uh-uh
And all the Nazgul say I'm pretty sly for a Shire-guy
Uno,dos,tres,quatro,cinco,cinco,ses!
Yeah way back in the third age
when all the world was new
there was a guy named Sauron
and he forged a ring or two!
Seven for the dwarf lords
down in their halls of stone!
Nine for the mortal men,
and one to call his own!
Then Elendil Came
with his claim to fame
he stole the ring
and with an arrow he was slain!
The ring went downstream,
and Gollum saw its gleam
He stole it fast!
He stole it fast!!
Beneath a mountain king,
That's where he took the ring!
And then the Baggins came and took it
and of that the bards will sing!
So find that Broken Sword and
HEY HEY DO THAT HERO THING!
Gollum :Give it to us Frodo
Frodo : Uh-uh, Uh-h
Gollum :Give it to us Frodo
Frodo : Uh-uh, Uh-h
Gollum :Give it to us Frodo
Frodo : Uh-uh, Uh-h
And all the Nazgul say I'm pretty sly for a shire Guy!
Bilbo gave it to his nephew
a hobbit I am told
He took the ring to Rivendell
(T'was really quite bold)
They sent out the nine walkers
and they went out on a quest!
To go and destroy the ring
and maybe save the west!
To Moria they went
Man they were really spent
When the Balrog appeared
and to heaven Gandalf went
Aragorn led out
They all went to pout
Poor Gandalf's Gone!
Poor Gandalf's Gone!
They went to Lorien
And Frodo Ran from them
and then Sam came to the rescue
And was a big help in the end!
So find Orodruin
AND HEY HEY DO THE RING-MAN THING!!
Gollum :Give it to us Frodo
Frodo : Uh-uh, Uh-h
Gollum :Give it to us Frodo
Frodo : Uh-uh, Uh-h
Gollum :Give it to us Frodo
Frodo : Uh-uh, Uh-h
And all the Nazgul say I'm pretty sly for a Shire-Guy
Frodo tamed Gollum
and then He led them
To Cirith Ungol
And then abandoned them.
Frodo fought Shelob,
got bit and went numb
So Sam saved him,
Yeah Sam saved him!
So they continued east
And fought many beasts
Then they got to Mt. Doom
and in it the ring was tossed!
They fought the orcish hordes
It kind got them bored
They fought those evil Hordes
and HEY HEY DID THE HERO THING!
Boromir's Rhapsody
Is this the one ring?
Or is this just fakery?
Those rings
of power,
They all look the same to me.
Put on the ring,
And watch as I fade away.
I'm just from Gondor,
Im just a normal bloke.
And now I need that ring,
Need it now,
Fight the orcs,
Kill them all.
Ringwraith,
Troll or Balrog,
Doesn't really matter to me,
To me...
Father, Ive got a plan
Get that hobbit by his head
Get my sword out, then he's dead.
Father, take him from behind,
And then I'll have that ring to take away.
Father,
ooh-ooh
Got give my plan a try,
I have to take that ring and prove Im right,
Rule them all, rule them all,
'cause
that is whatll happen.
Too late, that hobbits gone.
Whipped that ring out very fast,
Put it on and kicked
my arse.
Too late everybody, my plan has failed
And now Ive gone and thrown it all away.
Father, ooh ooh,
This fate is very cruel,
I sometimes wish I'd never done this at all.
I see a little goblin running up the
hill,
Uruk-hai, Uruk-Hai,
There are far too many of them.
Arrows coming for me
Very very nasty
Indeed!
Blow the horn (Blow the horn)
Blow the horn (Blow the horn)
Blow the horn and swing your sword
O Aragooorn!
(No no no no no no no no no No)
One of them has stabbed me, somebody help me
One of them has stabbed him,
get him to a hospital
Stand well back
Youve got to give him air.
Breathe deeply, Ouch!
Ill get that arrow
out, There it goes!
Breathe deeply, Ouch!
Ill get that arrow out, There it goes!
Breathe deeply, Ouch!
Ill
get that arrow out, There it goes!
Ill get that arrow out, There it goes!
Ill get that arrow out, There it goes!
There
it go-oo-oo-oo-ooes!
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, goodness gracious,
goodness gracious,
goodness gracious,
what a mess!
Lord Mandos has set another place aside
for me... for me... for me!
So you think you can
steal things and think it's all right?
So you think that the one ring will give you the right?
Ohh sailor, now you
see youre a failure,
You just had to try,
You just had to try out your plan here....
The one ring really matters,
it matters just to me.
The one ring really matters,
the one ring really matters,
To me
Listen as my
horn blows.
Script fragments found in a dumpster outside Skywalker Ranch. It's a bit jumbled up.
Frodo:
"I'm just a simple hobbit trying to make his way in the Shire"
Mace Baggins: "This Party's Over"
Gandalf: "Lost a
ring, Master Sauron has. How embarrassing." (apprentice wizards all laugh)
Gandalf: "That Saruman ... he's holding me
back. One day I will be the greatest of wizards."
Aragorn: "Do you want to buy some death sticks?"
Merry: "Aren't
you supposed to just give us those long knives?"
Saruman: "Join with me Obi-Wan, er, Gandalf, and
together we can
destroy the Sith, er Sauron .... sorry, which movie am I in right now?"
Moth (to Gandalf): "I''m here to save you."
Gandalf:
"Good job."
Arwen: "Oh dear, that Black Rider just swiped at me and now my midriff's exposed."
Aragorn: "I don't like
sand ... no sorry. Again ... I don't like sand .... OK, this time with a straight face .... I don't"
Arwen: "Are Rangers
allowed to love?"
Aragorn: "No, this is a PG film."
Gandalf (to Balrog): "Why do I have the feeling you'll be the
death of me?"
Young Balrog: "Get him Dad!"
Gimli: "Die Orc Dogs!"
Aragorn: "I just killed hundreds of Uruk-hai."
Arwen: "That's OK. No biggie. Let's get married."
Sung by Balin (with backup chorus of dwarves).
I was working in the mines,
Late
one night
When my eyes beheld and eerie sight.
For Durin's Bane from hiding began to rise
And suddenly, to my
surprise,
(He did the mash!)
He did the Balrog mash.
(The Balrog mash!)
It was a Third Age smash
(He
did the mash!)
It caught on in a flash
(He did the mash!)
He did the Balrog mash.
From the narrow bridge
In Moria's east.
To the rancid lake
Where the Watcher feasts
The dwarves all came
With knives and forks
For a Halloween party
With the Balrog's orcs.
(They did the mash!)
They did the Balrog mash.
(The
Balrog mash!)
It was a Third Age smash
(They did the mash!)
It caught on in a flash
(They did the mash!)
They
did the Balrog mash.
The cave trolls were having fun
The party had just begun.
The guests included Sauron,
Saruman, and his son.
The scene was rocking,
All were digging the sounds
Gollum on chains
Backed by
his 'gollum' sounds
The Fellowship was about to arrive
With their vocal group,
The Hobbit Five (Four!) (Whatever)
(They played the mash!)
They played the Balrog mash.
(The Balrog mash!)
It was a Third Age smash
(They
played the mash!)
It caught on in a flash
(They played the mash!)
They played the Balrog mash.
Out from
the Void
Morgoth's voice did ring
It seems he was troubled
By just one thing
Howled in fury
And shook
his fist
And said,
"Whatever happened to my Utumno Twist?"
(It's now the mash!)
It's now the Balrog mash.
(The Balrog mash!)
And it's a Third Age smash
(It's now the mash!)
It's caught on in a flash
(It's now
the mash!)
It's now the Balrog mash.
Now everything's cool,
Dwarves and orcs in the band
And the Balrog
mash
Is the hit of the land,
For you the readers,
This mash was meant too
When you get to the gates,
Tell
them Balin sent you.
(And you can mash!)
And you can Balrog mash.
(The Balrog mash!)
And do the Third
Age smash
(And you can mash!)
You'll catch on in a flash
(Then you can mash!)
Then you can Balrog mash.
Written by Inferno
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